Amazing

I didn't have time to write yesterday, so it's getting here today! Better late then never, right?! Well...not usually...I hate being late, but anywho. Yesterday I woke up in a spectacular mood. My day got better and better and was just like walking on a cloud. It has been far too long since I have felt that way. The crazy part is, nothing out of the ordinary happened. I didn't win the lottery, I didn't get a new job, I didn't have some awesome surprise waiting on me. I am just learning to be content with myself. I actually like coming home and doing my own thing, not having to worry about someone else's feelings. This may sound selfish, but I like being kind of carefree. If I don't want to talk to someone, I don't have to. That simple. If they don't like it, I tell them to hit the road, and have. It is very liberating to know that I don't NEED anyone anymore. Hell, half the time I don't even WANT anyone. Yes, there are nights when I feel like cuddling up and watching a movie with someone, but in the end I pop some popcorn, grab a Pepsi, and watch whatever movie I desire, and am just fine with that. I have never been ok with being alone. Funny thing is, now that I am ok with being alone, I am approached more. Ironic, eh? Maybe it's just because I am less pissy, and seem happier. I am happier. I also realized I do not have to settle. Not for Mr. Right Now, and not for Mr. I am better than you, so watch it or I'll leave in a heartbeat. I have been told in the past that I am better than that, that I deserve better, not by just one person, but by a few. I never believed it. Why is it we are too blind to realize this on our own? Why do we not believe it even when someone tells us? Well, I believe it now. I do deserve better than what I have settled for in the past. The next time someone tells me "I am not good enough for you." I will believe it. I have learned from those mistakes. I believe in destiny. I think that is why those people were brought in to my life. Not to cause pain, even though they did, but to make me realize my worth. I am finally realizing it :). I have survived yet another chapter in my life. My battle scars are beginning to show a bit more as I become even more independent and distant, but the one who sticks it out through it all will reap the rewards. I still have love in my heart. It may be guarded, but the one who makes it over the wall will be very lucky! :)


I realize I wrote a big run on paragraph, but I'm not even worried about it :) If you took the time to read it, thank you.