Iridescent Life.

The past few days have been good ones. I thought it would be a nice change of pace to write while I am actually happy. I am learning to just accept things the way they are, and put everything in perspective. Is being alone for a few months really that bad?! Nope. Some people have been alone for most of their life, and you don't hear them whining about it. I have chosen to look past the lonely nights, and rather take them in as a relaxation mechanism. Yes, I have not gotten perfect at not wanting to be of use, but what use am I to someone who doesn't really see what I am giving them? Moral of the story, be of use to myself first and foremost.

At this point, with a new year beginning, I am hopeful for a fresh start. I am going to do things a bit differently. I am totally back to my previous mindset of my older blog "Amazing". I had a slight relapse where I wanted to try and turn back time with someone, but I have accepted things the way they are once and for all. I am ok with them not being in my day to day life. I feel stronger. I have never felt strong before. I have been feeling half alive. A spark in me is growing, glowing, refusing to be dimmed.

Speaking of a new year, and new things....I am starting my new call center job on Jan. 3rd. I am going to do my best to come out of my shell, we shall see. I am usually so tense about meeting new people. What's the worst that can happen?! They don't like me? Who the fuck cares. In reality, I hate 95% of the population anyways. I am hoping this leads to more money, which means paying off my debt, and being able to do things I love to be doing, like traveling, spending time outside of my house, and maybe actually getting my tv channels back!!! That's a long story...

Looking back on 2010, I have a few things I am willing to leave behind. I also have a lot of things to be thankful for. Yes, I realize Thanksgiving is over, but I am in a mushy mood, so be it. I have met new people, became close to those I already knew, but overlooked. I have been shown a side of myself that I didn't realize was there. Found out that I can do things that I thought were impossible. I went through quite a few life changes this year. A divorce, living on my own for really the first time successfully, learning a new job mid-year, going back to school, and buying a new car. All in all, it was a very stressful, yet productive year. I am still standing, and cannot wait to see what 2011 has in store for me.

On a side note, it completely drives me crazy that I cannot see who reads this, so do my OCD side a favor...comment, even if it is just, "I read this crap."